The first step in finding help for a sexual problem is to talk to your doctor. If your cancer specialist can’t help you, ask your family doctor or another member of your health care team. They should be able to suggest a counselor who is an expert in sexual problems.
Sex therapy
Sex therapy is a brief type of counseling with a focus on solving sex problems. Sex therapists believe that sexual skills are learned. You may need to drop old approaches and learn new ones. Between visits, a sex therapist may give you do homework to help you feel closer to your partner and enjoy touching more.
Sex therapists may practice in a clinic or alone. Because most states have no laws about the title of “sex therapist,” people with no training can call themselves sex therapists. Be sure your sex therapist is a licensed mental health professional (psychiatrist, social worker, clinical nurse specialist, nurse practitioner, or psychologist) with special training in sex therapy. It is not always easy to find a well-trained sex therapist. It is OK to ask what education and license they have before you make an appointment.
What to avoid
Men and women often try to get help for a sex problem by going to someone who is not a health professional. Sexual problems are so upsetting that people will try all kinds of things. Although there is no evidence that any of the following can cure a sexual problem, they are often said to be cures: potency pills (such as “poppers” or “Spanish fly”), herbs, oysters, hypnotism by someone not trained as a mental health professional, or visits to a “sexual surrogate.” There are many more unproven remedies. These treatments have not been shown to work, and many can be harmful.
Other kinds of counseling
Sex therapy is not the only kind of counseling that can help a person with cancer. Therapy can
- Help you feel better about the changes in your body
- Make it easier for you and your partner to talk about difficult subjects
- Give you skills to better cope with the cancer
Finding a well-qualified mental health professional is important. Try to get names from your doctor or your cancer team. The cost of counseling varies with the professional’s training. Before you start, you may want to call your health insurance plan to see what they will cover.
Other specialists
A man with sexual problems may choose to see a urologist first. This is a medical doctor trained in diseases of the male genitals. Many urologists do surgery and offer medical treatments for erection problems.
When the most likely cause of a sexual problem is a change in your hormones, you may need to see a doctor called an endocrinologist. Usually your regular doctor or urologist can help you decide if an endocrinologist is needed.
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