Sex is an important part of life. It affects our zest for life and how we think of ourselves. Yet doctors and patients often don’t talk about how cancer treatment will affect the patient’s sex life.

When you first found out you had cancer, there was a lot to do and deal with. For most people, sex was not on that first list of concerns. But after things settled down a bit, you might have started to wonder about what will happen with your sex life.

You might not have asked about it yet. Many people don’t feel OK talking about sex with a doctor or even with a long-term sex partner. Even just reading about it here may seem a little strange at first.

The information here is for all women with cancer – women who have sex with men and women who have sex with women. It is basic information about cancer and sex, and it may not answer all your questions. But we will try to help get you started talking with your partner, your doctor, and your cancer team about your sex life and any problems you might have. That’s a first step toward a better sex life after cancer.

Just what is “normal” anyway?

People think about sex in different ways, and they have sex in different ways too. This makes it hard to decide what is “normal.” Some couples like to have sex every day. For others, once a month is good. Many people think using the mouth or tongue is a normal part of sex, but some think it is not OK. “Normal” for you and your partner is whatever feels right to both of you.

It’s also normal to want sex as you get older. But there are some who think sex is only for the young. Those people don’t know that many men and women keep having sex until the end of their lives. It is true that age may change your sexual response. But if you want to keep your sex life active, you can very likely do so.