There are many sources of support for people facing cancer. These include visitation programs like the American Cancer Society Reach To Recovery® program (for women who have been diagnosed with breast cancer), ostomy rehabilitation (for patients with stomas on the belly), and laryngectomy clubs (for those who have lost their natural voice because of cancer surgery). The American Cancer Society I Can Cope® program is another good source of support. It provides information about cancer diagnosis, treatment, side effects, nutrition, and other topics of interest to people with cancer and those close to them. Some of our local offices may be able to assist with transportation and can put you in touch with other sources of support. To find out more about available services in your area, contact your American Cancer Society.
Everyone, no matter how emotionally strong they are, can be helped by support. Try to understand what the person is going through -- by listening, offering a hand, and giving encouragement along the way. Providing encouragement does not mean that you act like a cheerleader, or that you try to make them feel good when they are feeling bad. It is important to allow the person with cancer to express anger, frustration, and sad feelings. After the person has vented negative feelings, you can encourage your friend or family member by saying things like, "I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I can't imagine how you feel, but I am here to listen anytime you need to talk. You have one more round of chemo. Maybe when that is over, you will start feeling a little better."
In fact, just listening and not talking is probably more helpful than saying the wrong thing. Some of the wrong things to say are "I know how you feel," when you clearly don't; or "It will be better tomorrow," when you can't be sure of that either. Even though you may say those things with the best of intentions, the person may feel that you really don't understand and that it just isn't helpful to talk to you. You must listen with your ears and your heart. As one person with cancer put it, "A long illness is so discouraging." But having a good support system means the person does not have to face cancer alone.
Feedback
