Visiting

Some people may have a hard time visiting people with cancer, especially those who look and feel very sick. When someone is very sick and suddenly looks very different, it can be shocking and upsetting. Sometimes just seeing a lot of medical equipment around a loved one can be disturbing. Try to remember that this is the same person you have always known and cared about. If possible, try to relate to the person in the same way you have in the past. Doing so will help both of you think about what's going on inside, not on the outside. The pleasure you give by your visit and the warmth you are able to communicate will be appreciated. When words seem too little, a loving look or touch can say a lot.

If you find it hard to not cry, it's all right. Explain to your friend or relative how much you care and how upset you are that he or she is going through such a hard time. Don't be afraid to show your feelings, but make sure the person with cancer doesn't have to comfort you. That may be too much for most people to manage at this stage. You may need to make the visit short if you have trouble controlling your tears.