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Making Treatment Decisions | |
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| Talking with Your Doctor | |
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You must be able to talk with your doctor so that your needs are met. Being treated for cancer often means that you will have more than one doctor. You may even have a team of doctors, nurses, and other people taking care of you. You may get information from many of these people, but it's a good idea to pick one doctor to be the one you go to with questions. You may choose the doctor you see most often, but some people pick a different one. You should feel at ease with your doctor. But sometimes, it takes a little time and work before this happens. Take the time to ask your questions and make your concerns known. Likewise, your doctor should make the time to answer your questions and listen to your concerns. If you and your doctor feel the same way about sharing information and making choices, you will probably have a good relationship and your needs will be met. Ask yourself, "How much do I want to know?" Having an idea of how much you want to know is the first step toward feeling good about talks with your doctor. You may want to know a lot of medical details about your illness. Some people feel more in control of what is happening to them when they know all of the facts. Decide how much detail about the cancer and your treatment would be helpful, and let your doctor know. You may want only small amounts of information. Some people get upset when they are told too many details. They may want simple directions -- what pill to take or what their treatment will be and when it will be done. They feel overwhelmed by medical details and would rather leave most decisions to the doctor. Others want to know everything. They may want to talk over the pros and cons of all the options before they start any kind of treatment. Don't be afraid to tell your doctor how much or how little you want to know. Sharing information Each person has his or her own way of sharing information. That's why the perfect doctor for one person may not be a good match for another. Think about what you value in a doctor. Some people want a doctor who will share information in a clinical and business-like manner. They expect their doctor to be the medical expert rather than a friend. Other people want their doctors to have an excellent "bedside manner." They value a doctor who is aware of both their emotional health and medical needs. Many people whose illnesses require treatment over a long period of time prefer this kind of friendly relationship with their doctor. After you have thought through what you want as a patient, it is time to look at how you can best talk with the doctor you have chosen. Remembering what your doctor says It's hard to understand complex information when you are anxious or afraid. Sometimes, without knowing it, doctors use words their patients don't understand. If you don't understand something, ask your doctor to explain it to you. Even if the doctor carefully explains things, you may not hear or remember all that is said. Here are some ways to help you remember everything your doctor tells you. Decide which way will be best for you.
Asking questions Write down your questions as they come up between visits and take them to your next appointment. Here are some questions your doctor can usually answer for you:
When your doctor gives you instructions, write them down. Make sure you understand them before you leave the office. You will need to follow them exactly. You may also want to keep written notes on any health questions and concerns. Bring your notes with you to appointments to help you remember what you wanted to ask or tell your doctor. Here are other things you may want to discuss with your doctor:
Above all, your doctor should take your questions seriously. He or she should be interested in your concerns and not make you feel rushed. If your doctor does not respond this way, bring it up at your next visit. The doctor-patient relationship A good doctor-patient relationship is a 2-way street. Here are some ways you can help keep up your end of the relationship:
Be sure your doctor has a copy of your most recent instructions on the care you want if you become unable to make decisions for yourself. These instructions are called advance directives. If you would like to know more about advance directives, call us at 1-800-ACS-2345 and ask for our document with that name. Second opinions Because cancer treatment is so complex, some people don't know where to start asking questions. But they may wonder if another doctor might offer something different in the way of treatment. You may find that you want to talk with another doctor who can look at your test results, who can talk with you about your personal situation, and maybe give you a different take on it. Some people find it hard to tell their doctors that they'd like a second opinion. It may help you to know that it is common for patients to get a second opinion, and most doctors are comfortable with the request. In fact, some insurance companies require you to get one before you start treatment. If you are unsure of how to begin, here are some ways that may help you bring it up with your doctor.
You can ask your doctor to refer you to someone, as suggested above. You may also want to look at our document, Choosing a Doctor and a Hospital for other ideas. Once you have decided who you will see for your second opinion, ask that your medical records, original x-rays, and all test results be shared with the new doctor. This way you won't have to repeat them. You will probably need to ask the doctor's office staff to help you with this. You may need to sign a release of information form to have the records sent. Or you may want to take copies of your medical records to the new doctor yourself. If you have a problem talking with your doctor If you have problems talking with your doctor, there are often ways to make things better. Try working out your concerns before deciding the situation is hopeless. First, state your concern as honestly and openly as you can. Here are some ways you may want to think about starting the conversation:
If you need more details after your doctor answers a question, say so. Sometimes it's even helpful to ask the same question again in a different way. Unless you tell your doctor that you don't understand something, he or she will probably think that you do. There's nothing wrong with telling your doctor that you don't understand. If you want to learn more about your cancer treatment, ask your doctor to suggest some reading materials. Keep in mind that nurses can be great sources of information, too. Learning more about your treatment can help you become more actively involved in it. If you are unable to work out the problem with your doctor during regular visits, ask for a special visit to discuss it. If the issue concerns your cancer treatment, go to the meeting with as much information as possible. You can call us at 1-800-ACS-2345 (1-800-227-2345) or visit our Web site at www.cancer.org for more information about your type of cancer and its treatment. Always tell your doctor where you got your information and then ask for his or her opinion. Even if you feel frustrated or angry, try to avoid being hostile toward your doctor. Often people become defensive and withdraw when they feel attacked -- a response that will be not be helpful in the long run. State your concerns and questions clearly and honestly, without accusing. What should you do if you feel you have done your part but the situation has not improved? You might think about talking with a third party about the problem. The head nurse or your family doctor might be willing to discuss the matter with the doctor. Sometimes this is less stressful than facing the doctor directly, and their help could improve the situation. If not, it may be time to find a new doctor. Don't stay with a doctor only to protect his or her feelings. Just because you were referred to the doctor does not mean you can't decide to change on your own. It's your body and you have the right to find the best doctor for you. The doctor-patient relationship when you're in the hospital If you are in the hospital, your relationship with your doctor will change somewhat. Many other people will be involved in your care during this time. And your doctor may not be the only one making treatment decisions. Sometimes hospital policies and routines clash with your own. In the hospital, you will also be surrounded by noise and activity, which can be stressful in itself. Some of this can't be avoided, but you can bring up problems with the nurses who are caring for you. They can offer ideas about ways to deal with these changes, and how the staff can help meet your needs. Keep in mind that your doctor may also be able to help you solve problems that might come up as you adjust to hospital routines and practices. If you have a problem with your doctor while you are in the hospital, there are other people who may be able to help. Speak to your nurse, talk to a social worker, or ask if the hospital has a patient service representative on staff. They can give you support and help you organize your thoughts before talking with your doctor. With your permission, they might even speak directly with your doctor. Information from your doctor that you will need later At some point -- even if you don't change doctors before or during treatment -- you are likely to find yourself in the office of a new doctor. It is important that you be able to give your new doctor the exact details of your diagnosis and treatment. Make sure you have the following information handy and always keep copies for yourself:
You can usually ask your treating doctor's office staff for copies of your records. Keep in mind that doctors sometimes move and offices can close, so ask for your records sooner rather than later. If the treatment or test took place in a hospital, you will need to contact their medical records department to find out how to get these records. This is the kind of information you will want to keep the rest of your life, since almost any doctor you see in the future will need it. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor Your doctor and the rest of your health care team want to help you and support you through this time. And people who have cancer likely to want to build good relationships with their doctors. A good relationship doesn't just happen -- it takes care and effort on both sides. Try to figure out your needs and how to best talk to your doctor about them. Work together. Chances are you'll both benefit from it. Additional resources More information from your American Cancer Society The following related information may also be helpful to you. These materials may be ordered from our toll-free number or found on our Web site.
No matter who you are, we can help. Contact us anytime, day or night, for information and support. Call us at 1-800-ACS-2345 (1-800-227-2345) or visit www.cancer.org. Last Medical Review: 01/22/2009 |