Men don't talk enough about health problems, not like women. I was surprised how many men I see on a daily basis who had problems with their prostate, and I knew nothing about it. When I began to speak up, they started to come to me.

Men often need their wives, family, and friends to persuade them to take care of themselves. The support may save their lives.

Calvin Martin knows — he's seen it happen many times over. Martin is a prostate cancer survivor who has helped train support groups and organize screenings in his own community in Harlem, throughout New York State, and across the country as a volunteer for the American Cancer Society (ACS).

When he asked a urologist to give a screening to his men's church group, the doctor said not until he spoke to the women first. The doctor knew he needed the women to persuade the men to come to the screening.

At the Let's Talk About It programs, Martin has seen more women in attendance than men. He has noticed their commitment in urging their husbands to get medical checkups.

The experience of two friends, one older and one younger than Martin, made him get his own checkup. Nearing retirement, the older man decided to get his physical while his job would still pay for it. The man had such high blood pressure that his doctor gave him medication on the spot.

He'd had no prior symptoms.

A month later Martin went to a conference, where he heard a younger man speak to a group of African-American men. The man spoke about how his wife had saved his life and the importance of men being diligent in taking care of their health.

When he had taken his wife to the doctor for her physical, she noticed the office was empty, so she asked the doctor, would he take her husband? He said, yes.

The doctor found that the younger man had cancer.

The fact there had been no symptoms for both men was a sobering lesson for Martin, and even though he felt healthy, he got his checkup.

"It's not easy to change your habits and go see the doctor, but I did," Martin said. At first he went once every two years.

But then Martin belonged to two groups that held screenings for their members, and he got tested twice a year starting in 1993. The Prince Hall Masons held theirs every January, and the men's fellowship group at the Convent Avenue Baptist Church in Harlem every October.

At one of those screenings in 1995, he tested positive for prostate cancer.

"I was devastated when the doctor said he needed to see me to do some follow-up," said Martin. "To me, that's always bad news. If he doesn't call you back, then that means everything is okay.

"But actually, it was good news because I was diagnosed at a very early stage. And therefore I had lots of treatment options. Diligence in going twice a year paid off," he said.

Martin, aged 54, opted for surgery, and they were able to get all the cancer in 1996. He needed no further treatment.

Sexual dysfunction and incontinence are often side effects of prostate cancer treatment. Martin did an exercise to combat incontinence, so it never became a problem. He squeezed his buttocks together to build up the muscle that controlled the urine.

He did have a problem with being able to maintain an erection, which lasted for about six months. His doctor told him that because of Martin's good health, and the nerve-sparing surgery he did, Martin's normal sexual function would come back. "I became a little impatient, and I wanted to do something," said Martin.

"But my doctor assured me that it was just a matter of time, and he was right. It healed itself, and six months I was back to a normal erection. I didn't have a problem performing sexually," said Martin.

Martin took his own experience and was determined to help his communtiy in Harlem. Together with Ron Baker, a survivor, and Blanch Bouie, an ACS community director, they formed a Brother to Brother program in Harlem, based on the ACS Man to Man program.

"I take great pride in that," said Martin. "We felt it brought identity to the community and to us as African Americans. 'Brother to Brother' was coined in Harlem."

Man to Man and Brother to Brother feature prostate cancer education and support programs that offer community-based group discussion. Volunteer coordinators invite speakers for monthly meetings, which are free.

From just a few attendees, word of mouth spread about the program. Urologists from Columbia Presbyterian Hospital directed patients to them.

Martin focused on the needs of Harlem. Besides urologists, oncologists, and oncology nurses, Martin brought in social workers to speak. Social workers are important to his community. For some, transportation costs to screenings and treatment, as well as not having insurance, are important issues that can be helped by social workers.

"Many won't come for screening if they think they couldn't afford the treatment," said Martin. "It's a tremendous lift for those people who need that kind of help."

They sometimes have coed programs. "Prostate cancer is a family disease, so we often have significant others present," said Martin. The spouse of a survivor, an oncology nurse, spoke to couples about the difficult times they had shared, and how they had worked through their sexual problems.

"Men don't talk enough about health problems, not like women," he said. "I was surprised how many men I see on a daily basis who had problems with their prostate, and I knew nothing about it. When I began to speak up, they started to come to me."

When Martin was in and out of the hospital, nobody, except his wife and mother knew he had prostate cancer. "I thought there was a stigma attached to prostate cancer, and it was something no one needed to know, that I could get through it myself," he said.

"I found out that was not the right thing to do. My urologist urged me to speak up because he knew I held key positions in all-male, state-wide organizations, and I had a forum from which to speak." Eventually Martin did.

And in doing so, he helped others to speak up, too, and the circle of giving keeps getting larger and larger. From his beloved community of Harlem, he's reaching out across the country, making a difference wherever he goes.