I really am one of those people who can do most everything by myself. But, I knew I could NOT do cancer by myself, and I knew it right away.

It was not only Patricia that Joan had allowed into the realm of her illness. She invited all of her friends to participate by ‘allowing” them to help. Two women volunteered as co-chairs of “Operation Joan” and they set up a schedule and assembled an entire crew of friends to serve as chauffeurs so that Joan was driven to radiation every afternoon by a different chum. “My husband Jack took me every morning. And, every afternoon a car pulled into the driveway and I was surprised by a different friend with a smiling face,”

Joan makes a strong point about patients who isolate themselves when they feel and look poorly. “Too many cancer patients shut themselves up – and away – from people. Friends want so much to help and I learned it was important to provide ways for them to do so. It was such a huge support system for me. And, clearly, it turned out to be a fulfilling duty for each and every one of them. I’m embarrassed to say so, but many actually thanked me for letting them ‘in’.”

In her day-to-day life, Joan is a successful and busy marketing executive who, along with Patricia, creates and manufactures unique, brand-identity promotion gifts for major consumer industries from cruise lines to liquor companies, from baby food and cookie makers to fashion giants. It’s a business that is goal drive and requires tenacity – and one that demands the resilience to bounce back when the challenges get rough. Joan credits her survivorship to these traits. “I looked at cancer as just another business challenge – a huge assignment I would have to tackle. However difficult, however long, I would see it through, accomplish my work and ultimately succeed!”

Joan readily admits that at the first pronouncement of the word “cancer,” she knew she would need help. “I really am one of those people who can do most everything by myself. But, I knew I could NOT do cancer by myself, and I knew it right away.” So Joan contacted the American Cancer Society to seek the counsel of a psychologist, Bejai Higgins, who emerged as Joan’s personal and pragmatic mentor. “Bejai is the one who taught me not to go it alone – to invite friends and support. She’s the one who assigned my husband the job of Pain Counselor so that his support role for me was well-defined and achievable.”

Joan likes to talk about the role her husband played. As her pain coach, he researched and sought the medicine solutions and professional healthcare givers who were needed at any given moment. He was the man with the sense of humor who articulated menus of rack of lamb or coq au vin while he hooked up Joan’s stomach feeding tubes every day, three times a day. “It was Jack, every day. No nurses, no aides. Just my Jack. I’ve loved and respected this guy throughout our long marriage. But the challenge of this cancer showed him to be a true hero. How lucky I am.”

Ironically, Joan (and Jack) both regard her bout with cancer as a “good journey.”

“It sounds crazy, I know, but we experienced so much, learned so much and grew so much. I never once doubted the outcome. I knew I would be well. I never questioned ‘Why me?’ Jack and I just forged ahead. The goal was to take on this project, handle it, finish it, and put it behind me. And, in a year I met my goal.”