• With family input, decide on health care institution.
  Facilitates the family decision and supports appropriate family discussion.

• Communicate diagnosis and medical information to the family.
  Helps the patient decide how to best present the information. The emotional supporter can also participate in the discussion.

• Get a second opinion if desired.
  Getting a second opinion is not being disloyal. Supporting the patient to seek a second opinion is helpful.

• Gather adequate medical information to make treatment decisions.
  Helps the patient get this information.

• Find out how loved ones are feeling about the patient's illness.
  One of the most responsible things you can do for the patient is to be honest with them about your feelings. That helps the patient feel they are still normal and able to support you.

• Communicate needs to the medical team.
  Encourages patient to talk about all needs to the appropriate health care team member. If the patient has difficulty, initiates the discussion.

• Learn and educate others about treatment, side effects, physical and emotional expectations.
  It is important to know what to expect emotionally, so that you can be as effective as possible in this role.

• Address how cancer diagnosis and treatment will affect work.
  Helps the patient talk through the impact of illness on work before contacting employer. Supports the patient's need to take time off if necessary.

• Address how cancer diagnosis and treatment will impact the family.
  Supports the patient in realizing there must be changes during this time. Helps the patient make these delegation decisions.

• Determine if any current habits are contributing to ill health, like smoking, and make an action plan to address.
  Support patient in positive attempts to address unhealthy habits.

• If there are genetic factors involved with cancer, discuss with family and medical team.
  Helps patient deal with the emotional impact of genetic illness. Helps discuss with other affected family members.

• Ask for practical and emotional support from significant others.
  Sometimes the patient will need help is asking for support, since it is often difficult to do.

• Delegate necessary tasks and roles.
  Helps patient implement plan and discusses with family members/friends.

• Find ways to express feelings about the cancer experience.
  The best way to support a patient is to allow and listen to the expression of feelings, no matter how negative they are. Be a sounding board.

• Figure out the goal of your cancer treatment.
  If the goal is not realistic for a cure, the patient will need even more emotional support. Likewise, giving that emotional support may be harder for you, since you are dealing with potentially losing this person.

• Consider fertility issues before treatment, if appropriate.
  If there are problems with fertility as a result of treatment or the cancer, the patient must deal with this loss in addition to the cancer diagnosis.

• Discuss treatment schedule with the team, your family, and work.
  You can give more effective support if you are involved in decisions and know what is happening.

• Determine insurance coverage and negotiate with providers.
  It is often upsetting to deal with providers and fight to have bills paid. Calm support can help improve the patient's mental outlook.

• Arrange transportation to and from treatment.
  It is often helpful to accompany the patient on treatment visits for emotional support.

• Understand any physical side effects of treatment and signs to look for that may indicate cancer progression.
  Having this information in your role as the emotional supporter helps the patient know that what is happening is normal. If the patient is anxious about recurrence, knowing those signs can also help you realistically support him or her.

• Recognize that feeling ill does not necessarily mean your cancer is worse.
  Sometimes patients can't believe that they are doing well, when they feel so bad. Feeling ill can also mean their treatment is working.

• Figure out your own ways of coping with the illness and treatment.
  There may be complementary strategies, like massage therapy, biofeedback, meditation or prayer that may help. What your loved one chooses to do to cope with their illness is their decision. Giving them emotional support to cope in their own way is important.

• Talk about fears with the health care team and a select circle of family and friends.
  This is your primary role as the patient's emotional supporter. You may also be able to help the patient identify the most dependable and responsive friends.

• Adjust to the impact of physical changes such as hair loss, loss of a body part (like your breast) on self-esteem, sexuality, and sexual relationships.
  If you are the significant other or partner to the patient, it is important to be open and supportive about their body's physical changes. Taking their cue for physical contact is important.

• Talk about fear with the health care team and a select circle of family and friends.
  This is your primary role as the patient's emotional supporter. You may also be able to help the patient identify the most dependable and responsive friends.

• Seek out other cancer patients to talk about their experiences and advice.
  Support the patient in talking with other who have had similar experiences.

• Maintain your normal life as much as possible.
  Sometimes you feel you should protect your loved one from dealing with the stresses of normal life. However, being part of normal life may be the best thing for the person.

• Seek relief from pain if present.
  The patient's emotional wellbeing is improved by treating their pain.

• Exercise or walk if possible.
  This can help the patient lessen both anxiety and depression. You may want to walk or exercise with the patient.

• Check out local resources for cancer patients.
  Encouraging the patient to take advantage of local resources can be part of a morale-boosting program for both of you. These programs are usually geared to take some of the burden off you.

• Concentrate on taking an active role in treatment.
  Sharing the emotional burden with the patient enables them to participate more fully in their own treatment.

Revised Date: 4/9/01