The sexual response of men and women has 4 phases:

• desire
• excitement
• orgasm
• resolution

A person goes through the phases usually in the same order. But the sexual response can be stopped at any phase. You don't have to reach orgasm each time you feel a desire for sex.

Desire is an interest in sex. You may just think about sex, feel attracted to someone, or feel frustrated because of a lack of sex. Sexual desire is a normal part of life from the teenage years on.

Excitement is the phase when you feel aroused or "turned on." Touching and stroking feel much more intense when a person is excited. Excitement also results from sexual fantasies and sensual sights, sounds, scents, and tastes. Physically, excitement means that:

• Heartbeat and pulse speed up.
• Blood pressure goes up.
• Breathing gets heavy.
• Blood is sent to the genital (or "private") area.
• The surge of blood creates an erection -- a stiff penis.
• The skin of the genitals ("private parts") turns a deeper color of red or purple.
• The body may sweat or get warmer.

In a woman who is sexually excited, the extra blood that is sent to the genitals makes the skin and mucous membranes become pinker, and causes the clitoris to swell slightly. The vagina becomes moist and increases in both depth and width, like a balloon.

Orgasm is the sexual climax. In both men and women, the nervous system creates intense pleasure in the genitals. The muscles around the genitals contract in rhythm, sending waves of feeling through the body. In men, these muscle contractions cause ejaculation (or release) of semen.

Resolution occurs within a few minutes after an orgasm. The body returns to its unexcited state. Heartbeat and breathing slow down. The extra blood drains out of the genital areas. Mental excitement subsides.

If a person becomes excited but does not reach orgasm, resolution still takes place, but more slowly. It is not harmful to become excited without reaching orgasm, though it may feel frustrating. Some men and women may feel a mild ache until the extra blood leaves the genital area.

Refractory period: Men have a certain amount of time after orgasm in which they are physically unable to have another orgasm. This time, called the refractory period, tends to get longer as a man ages. A man in his 70s may need to wait several days between orgasms. Women do not have a refractory period. Many can have multiple orgasms, one after another, with little time in between.

Last Medical Review: 02/02/2009
Last Revised: 02/02/2009