How can relatives and friends help my children?
Some families are lucky to have a large network of people to call on for help. If this is not the case for you, an oncology social worker or nurse may be able to connect your family to community resources that can help fill the gaps.
Sometimes the issue isn’t finding help, but accepting it. Many people hate feeling like a burden to others and prefer to solve all their problems alone. If you’re one of these strongly independent people, this is your chance to learn that accepting help can be good for both you and for those who give it. Cancer is a major illness that has a huge impact on any family. No one should try to get through it alone.
People who offer to help can be good resources for keeping your children’s lives as normal as possible. Look at your children’s activities. Some examples of where others may be able to help include getting to and from music lessons or sports activities, being picked up at school, or even having a sleepover. Make a list of these errands and tasks, and decide which of these a friend or relative could help with. Ask your friends to be honest and tell you if the request is something they can do or something they’d rather not do. Then it’s the hard part – let them help. Your friends and relatives will feel good knowing they’re helping, and you can feel good about your children keeping their regular routines. Prepare your children, and tell them that these changes are probably only until you feel better again.
Tips to help you, your friends, and family talk to each other about cancer, so that you can feel more at ease when facing it together can be found in Telling Others About Your Cancer.
- Helping Children When a Family Member Has Cancer: Dealing With Treatment
- Why tell children about the cancer treatment?
- What do children need to know about the cancer treatment?
- How do we handle all the changes?
- How can I make sure my child understands what I tell them?
- What if my child starts acting differently after I start treatment?
- How can relatives and friends help my children?
- Should children visit the hospital or clinic?
- How much should I tell my child’s school about my illness?
- What if people ask my child about my illness?
- How do families deal with uncertainty after treatment?
- Cancer changes everyone in the family.
- Does having cancer cause special problems in non-traditional families?
- What helps, by age of the child
- Words to describe cancer and its treatment
- To learn more
Last Medical Review: January 29, 2015 Last Revised: April 27, 2015