Taking Care of Yourself When You’re a Cancer Caregiver

Cancer caregivers are often spouses, partners, parents, siblings, adult children, or close friends. They play an important role in supporting a loved one through cancer. While caregiving can be rewarding, it can also be physically and emotionally demanding.

Taking care of your own health and well-being is an important part of caregiving and can help you continue to provide support over time.

What does it feel like to be a caregiver?

Many people find caring for a loved one with cancer to be meaningful and rewarding. It can be a way to show love and support during a difficult time and may bring a sense of purpose and accomplishment.

At the same time, cancer caregiving can be physically and emotionally demanding. Many caregivers feel stressed, worried, or tired at times.

Every caregiving situation is different. You are not expected to do everything alone. Talk with the cancer care team and your family and friends about what your caregiving role will involve and what support you may need. Be honest about your limits and recognize when caregiving duties become more than you can manage on your own.

Getting support and accepting help when you need it can help you care for both yourself and your loved one.

Recognize the signs of caregiver stress

Caregiving for someone with cancer can be stressful, especially if you take on the role unexpectedly or your loved one’s needs increase over time. Focusing on someone else’s care can make it easy to overlook your own health and well-being.

Common signs of caregiver stress include:

Emotional signs

• Feeling overwhelmed or unable to keep up
• Feeling anxious, irritable, or easily frustrated
• Feeling sad or hopeless
• Losing interest in activities you usually enjoy
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Withdrawing from people

Physical signs

• Feeling tired or exhausted a lot of the time
• Trouble sleeping
• Headaches, muscle aches, or other pain
• Getting sick more often than usual

What to do if you have signs of stress

If these feelings last for more than a few weeks or interfere with your daily life, they may be signs of depression. Talk with your healthcare provider, a mental health professional, or a member of the cancer care team.

Research shows that caregiver stress can also affect the well-being of the person receiving care. Getting help early can make a big difference in your well-being and your ability to provide care.

Taking breaks, accepting help from family and friends, and making time to care for yourself can help reduce stress and prevent burnout.

When to seek professional help

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed sometimes by caregiver tasks. But if these symptoms become severe, last for several weeks, or interfere with your daily life, you may need to see a mental health professional. Consider professional help if you:

• Feel depressed, hopeless, or physically unwell because of the stress
• Have thoughts of harming your loved one
• Frequently yell at the people you care about
• Depend on alcohol or recreational drugs
• Fight constantly with your spouse, children, stepchildren, or other family members and friends
• Are no longer taking care of yourself

Know your limits

Do not try to do it all by yourself. Caregiving is not something most people can do alone for a long period of time. Reach out for help when you need it.

Some caregivers feel they should be able to meet their loved one’s every need. It’s hard for them to admit that they cannot do it all and still keep their own health and peace of mind. Some feel guilty for not being able to manage everything on their own and say they just don’t feel right if they ask for help. But knowing your limits and asking for support can help you continue providing care while protecting your own health and well-being.

Set limits on what you can do safely. For example, if you are not used to lifting your loved one, trying to do it alone could injure both of you. Home care nurses, physical therapists, and other members of the cancer care team can teach you safer ways to help and recommend equipment if needed.

Talk with the cancer care team about where you need additional support. They can help connect you with resources so you do not have to do everything on your own. Trying to do too much without enough help can lead to caregiver stress and burnout, making it harder to care for both yourself and your loved one.

Accept help and build a support network

The support of family, friends, and others is important for both the person with cancer and the caregiver. Connecting with others can help you stay strong and remind you that you do not have to do everything on your own.

Support can come from many places, including:

• Family
• Friends
• Support groups
• Counseling
• Faith communities
• Online communities or apps such as ACS CARES®

Talking with people who are in similar situations can provide encouragement, practical ideas, and reassurance that you are not alone. Ask your cancer care team about support services in your area.

Family and friends often want to help but may not know how or what you need. Let people know how they can help, and be specific about the tasks you need assistance with. You may find it helpful to:

• Make a list of tasks where you need help, such as meals, transportation, or household chores.
• Hold family meetings to share updates and discuss care needs. Include the person with cancer in these meetings, if they’re willing.
• Ask people what they can help with and be clear about what you need.
• Use online tools, apps, or shared calendars to organize helpers, share updates, and schedule caregiving tasks.

Accepting help can reduce stress, give you time to care for yourself, and make it easier to continue caring for your loved one.

Take time for a break

Taking regular breaks is an important part of caring for yourself. Many caregivers feel guilty about stepping away, but no one can provide care all day, every day, without time to rest and recharge. Even a short break can help reduce stress and prevent caregiver burnout.

If family or friends cannot help, respite care may be an option. This provides short-term care for your loved one so you can take time for your own needs. Depending on where you live and your insurance coverage, respite care may be provided in your home or through community programs or care facilities.